Hello blogspot. Again, it has been a while since I posted anything at all (I didn't count my last post as a legit post because it was filled with mindless pms-ey female rambling. Forgive me.)
Anyway, recently I bought the book above, "The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking." The book basically discuss how in this society, we idealise people who are bold and loudspoken and people who tend to be soft-spoken tend to have a more "negative" perception from society. Susan Cain then explained that "soft-spoken" people can be powerful as well and that many successful people out there are introverts.
Anybody who have met me in real life would know that I have a very quiet and kept personality. I participate only when it's absolutely necessary in most cases and I talk only when I really have things to say. Some people (mostly my friends of course) would tease me on being anti-social or shy. There are moments when I believe the first one is true. As for the latter, I know I was truly shy as a kid but I also know that right now, I grew out of that shyness. Of course, there are still moments that will still get me and events that gets me tingling from giddiness and embarrassment, but overall, I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin.
Back to the topic of anti-social, I do sometimes think that I must dislike people at some point. But I know that it isn't the case because I do look for company often and I know I need people in my life. However, I tend to hate large group gatherings and I prefer one or two on one outings with the same three to five people in my life. I HATE small talks, I cannot emphasize that enough. Stating the obvious over and over again is tedious yet that's the mechanism that we, as social beings, should use in order to break the ice and know one another. From the surface first then the core. I've known the term "introversion" for a while now. Before I knew that though, I always thought this quiet and "anti-social" tendency of mine is a stage of growing up and eventually I will be a "normal" and "social" person. However, I'm 19 turning 20 now. I handle social situations better than I used to but there are still many things that I don't understand and that I can't ever get from many of my outspoken friends (and for an introvert, I strangely have a lot of extroverted friends.)
For example, I can't understand my friends who can say whatever that is unnecessary and pointless at the most random times just to fill 5 seconds of silence. I personally would let silence linger for a bit rather than saying something that is complete nonsense. I can't understand the ease in which some of my friends share their personal stories to a large group of people or to people who they just met. My personal life is a big thing for me and I prefer to keep much of it out of the limelight. I can't understand my friends who can keep shallow conversations going for a long time. Once you say what you gotta say, what else can you say, seriously. I can't understand my friends who feel so helpless when they're alone in a crowd. I feel pretty comfortable being alone. In fact, sometimes I feel like I look more in my element when I am alone rather than in a big group of people whom I don't know really well.
Those are just some of the extroverted things that bugs my introverted mentality. The list goes on, but for the sake of length, I'll keep it to myself.
Anyway, I thought I was weird and abnormal before I found out that introversion is a type of personality that humankinds have and that I'm not alone with this type of mentality. Ever since then, I love reading accounts of introverted people because I never knew that I can be so identical with many people and that it is not a "disorder" of any kind- it's normal in a different way. Yes, being with people drains me and alone time is necessary like air and food, but I do love being around people. Just, not for a very long period of time.
The book above comforted me in a way that it gives me hope in my future. I always have this assumption that because of my personality, I automatically hinder myself from the highest success I can possibly achieve. However, after reading a bit of that book, I realize that if I just handle things the way my personality is and give it my best without trying to "conform" to extraversion ways, I won't limit myself from reaching the stars. I can be a successful introvert.
I'm actually quite thankful for my personality in a way. Because I'm an introvert, I never see the need to feel "it" or be in the "big crowd". I'm pretty happy being myself and watching from the sideline as people try to conform to trends overtime and change themselves for the social norms. I never see the need to drink or smoke for social reasons.
Of course there are the downs with this personality - people often think you're stuck up, quiet or shy. One of the things that I find difficult, and I think this is just for me and my personality, is that it's difficult for me to deal with extreme personal relationship change with people. I personally find it hard to let go or lose a close friendship I had once with a person because for me, finding people I can truly trust and be open with is hardcore difficult. It's really sad because it's a hard work for me to be able to open up to someone completely and not being able to do that anymore with that particular person just saddens me. But life happens. Severed friendship/relationship ties is probably one of the things that blew me the hardest in life.
But overall I am pretty content with being an introvert. My way of thinking is different than most people and I know people whom I can really trust. For my fellow introverted peeps, you don't need to conform to extraversion to live. Just be yourself and the sooner you accept who you are, the better things will be. I did. I found that the moment I accept my introversion and just act the way my personality would want me to, I gain more friends than before. As long as you're nice to people in general, how outspoken you are wouldn't matter much. Unless you're looking for the spotlight, then, that's a different story.
