And because I'm sort of a noob on blogspot and the video was uploaded on Vimeo, I'm not sure whether you're able to embed Vimeo videos here. So for visual aid's sake, you can view the video here.
Basically, the creator of the video focused around 'third-culture kids.' What are third culture kids? Those are kids who have spent a significant portion of their lives away from their country of origin and at times, this can lead to a confusion to their sense of identity. Not biographically, but a confusion to which country they feel they resonate to most, which culture they feel more comfortable to, which language they speak more fluently and so on. These kids have a difficulty in answering where home is to them because home to them is not where they are born or their supposed nationality. Home is, and pardon the cheesiness, what their hearts resonate to most. This could be anything- culture, food, place and so on. If they live abroad but their patriotic sense is strong, then they would claim their home country 'home' for the rest of their lives. Anything can be considered as a reason to make something as 'home.'
Here's the thing: I'm a third culture kid. I was not surprised to find that I know exactly how the kids in the video felt.
Something I always remember during my younger years is this: I moved a lot. Even within Indonesia itself, I remember constantly commuting between two cities until my family decided to put up a third into the count. I've lived outside Indonesia ever since the beginning of third grade and I've lived in three different regions of the Middle East until now. Most significant thing about my move is that right now, I've had a total of 9 different schools that I've been enrolled to.
Of course, everything has its ups and down. I grew up in a constantly changing environment. Because I moved a lot, I adapt to things pretty easily because like it or not, I was always forced to do so. Right now, culture shock is not an issue for me anymore because I've been made more open-minded and more easy in accepting differences because of how I grew up. I've kept "don't judge a book by its cover" close to heart because I truly know what it means. When you move a lot and you're new to things, the best way to learn your surroundings is to be objective and then form your own opinions after you understand them well rather than narrowing your view when you barely scratched the surface of things.
The downside of moving so much? Being the new kid constantly. And overtime, you find yourself as "the foreigner" in the country you currently live in and your home country. In all honesty, I feel like a foreigner whenever I visit Indonesia. Although I have the passport, the birth certificate and the physical appearance of one, I feel as if I'm not truly Indonesian. After spending so much years abroad, I have difficulty in speaking the language and I have this sort of funny accent whenever I speak and I speak really stiff whenever I try to talk in Bahasa (which is why I sort of try and refrain from speaking in Bahasa as much as possible.) There is so much about the region that I don't know as well. All in all, I sympathize more with those tourists visiting Indonesia than Indonesians themselves. And this sort of sucks because I'm also a foreigner in the country I'm staying in currently and I find that because in one place, I'm obviously a foreigner while in the other, I feel like a foreigner from the inside that I don't have one place I can identify myself with.
It might sound sort of horrible but I like to consider myself as unattached to a country. Although I always introduce myself as Indonesian and claim that I'm one (and will always do in the future,) I will admit that I don't believe in it entirely. I do so mostly because I've been programmed to do that since forever and also for the fact that it makes sense to people. I can't introduce myself as an Arab despite the fact that I've lived in Middle East most of my life because as far as culture, language and appearance goes, I am far from being one. I can't introduce myself as some other nationality either because I have no other solid evidence to support that claim. Hence, I'm an Indonesian. But I'm not entirely. I am a collection of all the places I've lived in previously and that's what I've become. That's what I'm able to present to you right now.
So coming back to the title of the post because I feel that I've digressed majorly; if I was asked where my home is, what would have I replied with? Well, to me, home is not a specific place anymore. This year, I've travelled to Morocco, Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia without my parents or my family with me. And after some musings and thoughts from all the travelling I've done, I can conclude that I can quickly make a home out of any place. But there's something that will make a place feel like 'home' to me. That something is this:
People. People who are my family. People who I can have fun with. People who will support me and understand me whenever I'm going through tough times or whenever I'm in my weird moody state. People who I can have conversations with. People who I can offer my support to.
If any of these people are present, I can stand living in any place. As long as there are people who I can count on, I can make myself believe that the place I am in currently is my home because when you think about it, any region on this earth has its ups and downs, like many other things. To me, as long as there are people who I can convince myself to stay for, I can consider that place my home.
Of course, those pictures above are only of just some people who I consider significant in my life. There are many many more, many that have taught me valuable lessons about life and many who helped me learn about myself better. There are also many who I just like being there for as well as many who made my home much more of a home to me.
If you actually know me, you'll realize I'm not the most social person. I try to be nice to everyone but I'm only truly open about myself to only a handful of people in reality. I don't know why, but I guess I'd rather have a few people who I know I can establish a solid bond with for a long time rather than knowing so many but they only come and go. With that said, I don't hate meeting people. I like making acquaintances but I find that I'm selective whenever I have to be really open about myself. That's why, those people who have become quite significant to me, will always be significant no matter what.
So my answer to the question of where's my home: I don't have a specific home. Any place can be my home so long as I'm sharing it with people who can make these places a home for me. Because as the good ol' saying "home is where the heart is" and yes, I shall be sappy and end the post by saying home to me, is the place where the people I left a part of my heart with is.
aw andin this is lovely :)
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel :)
ReplyDelete